Wedding Woes: The Lost Art of RSVP’ing

Weddings while blissful & beautiful are not completely without WOES!   

We are going to tackle the "Lost Art of RSVP’ing" and provide you with helpful ways to get your guest to tell you if they are coming to celebrate your big day!  In this day & age, we are busier than we ever have been.   It’s easy for us and everyone around us to get lost in our lives and forget the simple courtesies we should observe.   One of the biggest woes of planning a wedding is the simple task of guest returning their RSVP card.   You send a save the date and then follow up with an invitation complete with your RSVP card and a small envelope with paid postage….you think your friends and family could simply complete it & drop it in the mail.   Couples have even opted for electronic RSVP’s to having guest respond to a text, email or visiting a website but even with all of these conveniences for one reason or another, this task gets brushed to the side and never is done.   Some people actually think it’s ok to show up without an RSVP. 

While I don’t ever think it is ever good to go ‘zilla’ on anyone during your planning process.  I truly feel that the RSVP is the one exception to this rule.   

Let’s start with the GUEST LIST! 

Guest in attendance at your wedding are often friends and family excited to share & celebrate the day with you.   When considering your guest list, it is very easy for that list to get long and become full of people.  Consider these tips when creating your guest list:
  • Set a guest amount you would like to stick with (you may have to start the actual guest list before you do this part or your venue or your budget may drive this amount)
  • Set guest list expectations to those contributing to the list.   How many people does everyone get to invite?   Etiquette typically allows the parents of the couple to contribute to this list.
  • Write down EVERYONE you want to invite.   If you are within your guest count & are happy then yay!  But you still want to do the next step as it helps with your RSVP’s
  • After you have your list review it and consider making cuts to it.   Set some rules for cutting guest from your list…. (Do you both know them?   Have you talked to them at all in the last year or two? Are you inviting them out of guilt? Children or no children? Plus ones if they don’t already have a significant other?) You don’t have to invite everyone you know.  Plus a lot of the ones you should cut probably won’t attend anyway so why stress about their RSVP and add to your wedding day costs?
Having a guest list that is full of people who know and love you and your partner are more likely going to be excited to celebrate your wedding.  These people will most likely make it less difficult and tell you if they are coming.  

How do you NORMALLY get RSVP’s?

Believe it or not, it actually starts before you send out an invitation….
  • Send Save the Dates out- This allows people to put it on their calendar, ask time off work, and start the commitment process to your event.
  • Send your invitation complete with the RSVP card with a return envelope WITH paid postage
  • Consider an online RSVP process (this can be in addition to your paper rsvp’s)
  • Set an RSVP by date!
  • Some couples have even set up a facebook event to provide quick and instant communication including RSVP’s with their guest (least recommended option)

All of these items will help your guest plan and commit to attend to your big day!

 But sometimes even those that love us forget simple courtesies…

What to do when my guest have not RSVP’d?

Earlier I told you that this was the one area you were allowed to be ‘Zilla’ about….well don’t take that literally and go on yelling and screaming at your friends and family because they failed to RSVP.  Here’s some things you can do to confirm their attendance:
  • Call or text them
  • reach our via social media
  • chat with them when you see them again

Remember, there could be alot of reasons you have not received an RSVP, so be polite even though you are most likely stressed over the final planning parts of your wedding.  Courtesy goes both ways!

Wedding planning is fun but it is not without woes. 

Keep a smile on your face and don’t stress about the things you can’t control and plan for the things you can control.  If you set your guest list, have a RSVP process in place for your guest, and a plan to follow up with those who didn’t RSVP it won’t be as bad as you think!

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